Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just high enough for therapy.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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