all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
