She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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