theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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