Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dignity is for republicans.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
