Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
