Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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