Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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