If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
