Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
