He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
