is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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