I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
