Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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