your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
