I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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