I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
