My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize