how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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