Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
