Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
