you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
