tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
