Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
