i permit you to call me
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize