last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
