smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
