I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Randomize
