Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
