i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize