Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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