Ketchup is God's man juice
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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