We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
