I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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