I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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