So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Randomize
