I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
