I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
