Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
