Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
