loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
