and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
