I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
