We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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