u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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