meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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