im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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