arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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