Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
