But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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