If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
