It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
