So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
kristin has been a bad kristin
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
