remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize