i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
