where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
