At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
