I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
