why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize