Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
