As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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