he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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