There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
