I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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