You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
